It's a girl!

What fun yesterday was! In just a few months our little Sheridan Elizabeth will move into our Mojobrand house. As we drove towards the medical center we swayed back and forth between anxiety and excitement. Mojo told us not to be worried and this puzzled me. I asked him why and he said, "Shut up! That's why!" What an odd little monkey.

The latest sonogram-tastic technology showed us our little one in amazing detail. It's a good thing babies come out looking cute and snuggly because at twenty weeks they look like tiny skeletons with Saran wrap for skin. Transparent skin does have its perks though. We got to see all the lobes of the brain, her little heart with four spacious chambers, and teeny tiny leg and arm bones. We also spied her spine, esophagus, and bladder. The doctor told us that Sheridan drinks up the delicious amniotic fluid and then tinkles it out into the womb where she once again drinks it down. That was certainly new information. Drinking urine may not sound good to you but try to remember that millions of Americans drink it every day. It comes in a small aluminum can and is known as "Red Bull." Everything was in the right place and looked good and she certainly looks like a squirmer. It was hard to identify the sex because being the chaste young lady that she is, she kept her legs tightly closed for most of the sonogram. The doctor was pleased with the weight Samantha had gained but was not so pleased by how much I had gained. He called me a fatty boom-balatty and made me stand in the shame corner. In addition to all the stuff the sonogram showed us we also saw the placenta, the umbilical cord, and a 1952 Topps Mickey Mantle card.

When we brought the news home the whole house was buzzing with excitement. Zoe celebrated by sitting in the middle of the kitchen and cleaning herself. The monkeyfriends were a completely different matter. We were immediately bombarded with marriage proposals! Mojo offered four pounds of bananas, several balls of his finest lint, and a 5% stake in Mojobrand. Shoulders offered what appeared to be a very old Cheeto and Christmas Frog. Outraged by this offer, Christmas Frog picked up his cell phone and sold Shoulders to our favorite Mexican restaurant. Shoulders went there that night but was sent back a few hours later when customers complained of a "small rodent" licking all their tortilla chips. What a weirdo.