Neglected by Master

Hello readers, this is Mojo. Mojobrand Adventures has been slow for a month and I'm here to get things going again. Why the delay? It's simple. My master, Ryan, is fat and lazy. I'd normally let this slide, but my name is attached to this blog and I can't have that six foot meat-bag ruining my good name. I know you usually get the skinny on my life from Master, but this time I'll give you a first hand look into the exciting world of Mojo. Take today for instance:

7:55 am - Scrub attack paw on Master's face, then roll over and appear to be sleeping. This works every morning without fail
8:30 am - Rub Master's toothbrush on my behind
8:45 am - Coffee with Mistress Samantha. She combs my fur and I pick insects from her hair.
9:15 am - Catch latest "Best Week Ever" on Tivo
9:50 am - Walk to soccer fields for practice with my team, The Scorpions.
10:10 am - Given yellow card for hurling orange wedges at parents
11:00 am - Arrive home. Find Sheridan and whisper "Mojo" in her ear 300 times in the hopes it will be her first word.
11:30 am - Hide under covers and nap
3:20 pm - Discuss evening antics with Shoulders and Christmas Frog.

I ate a strange colored bug right after that and blacked out until after dinner. I had the strangest dream that a secret government lab had attached my body to an indestructible suit of armor.



Chances are good Shoulders and Christmas Frog put hallucinogens all over that bug in order to incapacitate me. But why?